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Hot Pocket

5 July 2015, 7:12 pm

“Hot Pocket” is a jingle in the key of F Major and features this tasty little hook.


Major third, second, tonic—just like hot cross buns.
It’s always impressive how much ground a 30-second jingle can cover. “Hot Pocket” runs through 3 choruses, changes key up a whole tone to G Major, and is super catchy even though I don’t even like hot pockets, am morally opposed to hot pockets. It’s no “Theme From Malibu Barbie”, but we’ll check that out at a later time. For now, check out “Hot Pocket” below. Listen for the little trill at the stop just before the hook. Listen for the background singer shouting the melody. Listen…

 



F               Eb               Bb                          F
When you wanna have meal but not a big deal
Bb                         F         C       F
Whaddya gonna pick? Hot Pocket!

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Final Fantasy Fourths

3 July 2015, 11:09 am

The “Opening Theme” from Final Fantasy III (USA) is a series of ascending 4ths, a quartal harmonic structure, that eventually kicks in with a loud F Half-Diminshed Seventh chord, followed by an F Minor Diminished Seventh chord. Click on either measure to play/stop from that point.

On guitar: 000011.

mogFinal Fantasy III is widely known as Final Fantasy VI, and only an ignorant American would refer to it as FF3. In the Spring of ’94, when we weaboos first loaded this cartridge on our Super Nintendos, from the ominous organ to the purple apocalyptic sky, it was clear this was no kid’s game, but a grand epic equal to The Odyssey, only with mecha robots and black magick tech, so more like The Mahabharata.

The quartal ascent from Final Fantasy was reappropriated for the Los Doggies song “Farted On”, heard at the 3:37 mark. Just like in FF3, the 4th intervals are sustained together, now split between six different voices, stretching over three octaves to the F5—the very highest note Los Doggies can sing.




And they’re losing 10 cents a year.
mooglemooglemooglemoogle

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Alrighty Then

2 July 2015, 11:40 am

The “Alrighty Then” plain chant in F Minor from Ace Ventura 2: When Nature Calls. Click below to listen.



This is a good movie and I like the melody. I like how it’s in F Minor and not E Minor or something stupid like that. Enjoy the scene below and be transported back to the tranquil world of ’90s Jim Carrey.



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Luciferean Chord

22 June 2015, 5:59 pm

What happens to a man who’s exhausted every musical pleasure available to him? When he’s digested every possible piece of Pop and Prog, regurgitated centuries worth of progressions and melodies, what becomes of him? Such is not a man, but a dissonant shell of his former self.

So lately, I’ve been into this dark little chord. It’s called an E Lydian (b9) Chord, like the name of a distant star nobody cares about. Were I a religious man, I’d call this a Satanic chord. Drag upon my noteheads and despair.

For guitar: 0x8866. I’ve arranged it above on ledger lines for educational purposes.

What a polytonal monster! What subtle beauty! It has an Augmented 4th, a Major 7th, and a Minor 9 on top. It’s essentially an A# suspended chord resting uncomfortably atop an E bass. To solo over this chord, use the 5-note A# Minor Pentatonic Scale or the 7-note D# Minor Scale and save the special note E for the lower octave, as a passing tone, or to amp up the dissonance with chromatic movement around the cluster: D# E F♮ F#.

This is the kinda chord I imagine the Elite enjoys behind closed doors, not electric keyboards and reversed singing. It would be untoward of me, a humble blogger, to venture a colloquial name, but the “Luciferean Chord” has a nice ring to it, and well-suited given that it features the devilish tritone interval.

The Luciferean chord goes well with an A Lydian Chord, making for an especially dissonant One to Four progression, but that’s my little trick, so don’t steal. ;)

In the future, will mankind be content to hear the same old songs, like the oldest song, totally tonal, suitable even for babies? Or will he tire of base consonance, and embrace the refined madness of Polytonal Pop music?

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DAD in D

21 June 2015, 9:07 am

My Dad’s in D.

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Ricola Melody

18 June 2015, 11:17 am

The classic Swiss jingle “Ricola” is typically sung from the top of the Alps accompanied by an alpenhorn. In the key of A Major, the first interval is an A Major Third, like the doorbell, then moves up to a B Minor Third. I have transcribed it here in 6/8 time for educational purposes.

Ahem! For some reason when I hear that melody, my throat gets congested. I start to salivate like Pavlov’s doggies. When I close my eyes, I see only yellow.

Last night, I went out and saw a Blues band play the Blues in A, not even A Major, and I instantly fell into a coughing fit.

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The LI Sea

16 June 2015, 8:51 am

In this artsy vid, Jelly Stormcloud drives down to Long Island and assaults Jones Beach.

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