TikTok is the latest spyware that all the kids are cuckoo for. You can see every kind of degeneracy on it, from prepubescents twerking in dishabille to fully-grown adults twerking in scrubs, although it’s still not as bad as YouTube with its vibrant monkey-torture community. Every platform is pretty uniform these days; they’re all TikTok. […]
Archive of posts tagged jingles
Amazon Chime
Everyone’s favorite megacorp (but nobody’s favorite network), Amazon, uses a throwback chime for their original productions. NBC used real chimes back in the day, but now it’s all digitally created by some EDM nerd on a DAW, or maybe by the Almighty AI Itself. As far as chimes go, the Amazon chimes are top-tier. It’s […]
Oatly Jingle
Companies have become so lazy, they don’t even produce jingles anymore. They just score them out on the side of their product and expect you to grab three of your friends from the barbershop to make it audible. As you can see, there is no play button on this package so if you want to […]
Corporate Melodies
How do corporations rule the world when corporations rule the world? Why, with simple melodies played on idiophones like the hand chimes pictured left. Germans call them “ohrwurm,” meaning earworm. A catchy song crawls inside our ever-open ears like a musical parasite and lays egg-songs in our brains. There is no more insidious melody on […]
