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Luciferean Chord

What happens to a man who’s exhausted every musical pleasure available to him? When he’s digested every possible piece of Pop and Prog, regurgitated centuries worth of progressions and melodies, what becomes of him? Such is not a man, but a dissonant shell of his former self.

So lately, I’ve been into this dark little chord. It’s called an E Lydian (b9) Chord, like the name of a distant star nobody cares about. Were I a religious man, I’d call this a Satanic chord. Drag upon my noteheads and despair.

For guitar: 0×8866. I’ve arranged it above on ledger lines for educational purposes.

What a polytonal monster! What subtle beauty! It has an Augmented 4th, a Major 7th, and a Minor 9 on top. It’s essentially an A# suspended chord resting uncomfortably atop an E bass. To solo over this chord, use the 5-note A# Minor Pentatonic Scale or the 7-note D# Minor Scale and save the special note E for the lower octave, as a passing tone, or to amp up the dissonance with chromatic movement around the cluster: D# E F♮ F#.

This is the kinda chord I imagine the Elite enjoys behind closed doors, not electric keyboards and reversed singing. It would be untoward of me, a humble blogger, to venture a colloquial name, but the “Luciferean Chord” has a nice ring to it, and well-suited given that it features the devilish tritone interval.

The Luciferean chord goes well with an A Lydian Chord, making for an especially dissonant One to Four progression, but that’s my little trick, so don’t steal. ;)

In the future, will mankind be content to hear the same old songs, like the oldest song, totally tonal, suitable even for babies? Or will he tire of base consonance, and embrace the refined madness of Polytonal Pop music?

DAD in D

My Dad’s in D.

Ricola Melody

The classic Swiss jingle “Ricola” is typically sung from the top of the Alps accompanied by an alpenhorn. In the key of A Major, the first interval is an A Major Third, like the doorbell, then moves up to a B Minor Third. I have transcribed it here in 6/8 time for educational purposes.

Ahem! For some reason when I hear that melody, my throat gets congested. I start to salivate like Pavlov’s doggies. When I close my eyes, I see only yellow.

Last night, I went out and saw a Blues band play the Blues in A, not even A Major, and I instantly fell into a coughing fit.

The LI Sea

In this artsy vid, Jelly Stormcloud drives down to Long Island and assaults Jones Beach.

New Song for an Old Friend

We released a new song called “Across the Kill” in honor of Ludwig Day, a townwide celebration in New Paltz.


Ludwig used to open for us. If you attended a Los show from ’09–11, you were guaranteed a Ludwig opener; it was the cherry on the front of the cake. He was playing most weekday nights on the Karaoke circuit for decades, so it wasn’t exactly a unique thing, and I’m not really sure how the details were negotiated. I believe he just showed up one day, ready to open, as if he walked off the pages of our local folklore. Like most folks, we became friends with Mr. Montesa on Main Street, after seeing this fabulous specimen careening quaquaversally upon high heels, handbag over his shoulder, and a measurable amount of sass in his pants. He used to visit me at Earthgoods multiple times throughout the day, and show me manuscripts of the local choir he sang for. The song was always “Oh Shenandoah”, a word that I can’t bring myself to pronounce. It was this mighty word, a mellifluous meme, referencing an entirely different river, that ultimately carries the blame for this song’s birthing.

I heard a story at Ludwig’s funeral, about how he used to sneak out of his room every night, out on the roof of Gourmet Pizza, after his parents went to sleep. Even if it’s not true, I like thinking they had no idea they were living with an absolute Karaoke legend. So I dedicate this to you, my sweet boy, my Shenandoherty, my Gloria.

“Across the Kill” is available free for stream and download.

Delano Park

delano park

NEWS RELEASE: Los Doggies Releases Free Mix Tape Inspired by Friends and Family

NEW PALTZ, NY (May 8th, 2015) – Los Doggies releases “Delano Park,” a mix tape of new songs written for friends and family. Each of the five songs is dedicated to a specific person intimately connected to the band as reward for a successful Kickstarter campaign.

Drummer Evan Stormo says he prefers the short form of a mix tape, calling it a “rocking, yet easy one-sit listen of Side A songs concerned with homesickness.” Mr. Stormo further stresses it is “something the whole family can enjoy, no matter how dysfunctional.”

“Delano Park” opens with the faux Ben-Folds swinger, “Why Am I So Fat?” followed by the sultry Halloween classic “Scary Love”, giving way to the Beatles-esque title track, then treading old ground in the meta-musical “For Elyse” with hat tip to John Lovitz, and finally closing on the Frenchified dancehall ballad “The Long Island Sea.”

“Delano Park” is available for free download at Bandcamp.

About Los Doggies

The Stormo brothers formed Los Doggies in the late ‘90s while writing jingles for their answering machine. In the early ’00s, they adopted a bassist named subPixel. They now make music as a trio in the mountain valley town of New Paltz, New York.


Tim Hanks, Media Relations


Drum Beat Song

What happens when you accidentally give your drum charts to the keyboardist? You end up with the Drum Beat Song. Click on the score to play/stop.

The Drum Beat Song is a standard 4/4 Rock Beat at 120 bpm set to music. Using drum notation, the kick drum translates to a low D, while the snare drum is a Middle C, and the hi-hat up top is a high G. Together, they form an incomplete D7(sus4). Drag over the chord below. Use the drum beat beat above and the drum beat chord below for an ultimate drum beat jam. Why not tap along at home using the membranophones on your own body?

How and when did the Drum Beat Song arise? Well, some centuries ago, a pianist in an orchestra accidentally got the timpani parts, and the theater was treated to a fantastic musical joke. Later on, there was this Jazz band that mixed up its score sheets, and again the pianist got the drum parts, now swinging ting ting ting-ting like Jazz cymbals, and dropping dominant seventh bombs on the bass. Then after that, there was an electronic musician with a live MIDI trigger that he forgot to set to the drum channel; the audience laughed their faces off when they heard sine waves blooping a familiar beat.

I first came across the Drum Beat Song using Midisoft 4.0—the greatest program ever made in 1994. If you forgot to set your drum channels properly, this beat, or another beat just like it, would hilariously play on the default piano, sometimes creating for a novel sound of unsuspecting beauty. Is this merely a conceptual art excercise? Or can the Drum Beat Song find its way into real music someday?

Have you encountered the Drum Beat Song before? Please share your stories in the comments section.