Mozart wrote a song called Leck mich im Arsch or ‘Lick me in the asshole’, a minute long song for six male voices―castrati preferred. He also loved ‘farted on‘ jokes. The oldest recorded joke from Sumeria is of this style. Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in […]
Archive of posts filed under the Bloggies category.
Disconnected
Phones are in F. They ring F’s, they drone dial tones in F Major Thirds, and the buttons beep in F Minor. Many other related phone melodies are also in F Major, such as the classic “Disconnected”. This little melody is a Bb Major Seventh, the fourth degree of an F Major scale. Click on […]
Never Jam After Midnight
Once in an eternity, a mogwai comes along with a voice of silver and a heart of gold. Most of his kind are shady Chinese spirits who suffer midnightly cravings and a bad case of aquaphobia. They certainly can’t whistle Dixie and play little keyboards in key. Fully acculturated, Gizmo sings a C# Major folk […]
A lone a last a loved a long the Lydian
The Lydian Scale is a lovely scale indeed, reserved for pre-choruses, or to evoke the silly sounds of a circus, and often employed by hollywood composers for alien song, because we all know the universe has been socialized with music, as per Close Encounters and Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Let’s take a look and […]
Los Crazies
Many a composers have walked these halls of hallucinations, guided by voices, consumed by musical madness, opened the doors of delusion, where everything disappears to man as it ain’t (still infinite), and beheard the sick psychedelic song at the center of the universe looping back in their mind’s ear, screaming like tinnitus and beating like […]
All Hail the Holy Half Whole
Chucky and Petrushka: Minions of the Octatonic There is one scale that is so deliciously evil, it hasn’t been heard for an hundred years. It goes by many names ― Octatonic (for its eight tones), Symmetric (for its perfect triadic symmetry), Diminished (for its Twin Diminished Keys), and Synthetic (for its artificial origins). This scale […]
Oh! Oh! Canada! Canada!
This little bird has a big song. He double-tracks the melody like John Lennon in his syrinx. It’s so loud, you can easily pick him out of your local biophony―other oscine song, insectival drone, and mammalian utterances―high up in the Seventh Octave, comfortable in his perch above Middle C. Ornithologists have even set nationalistic lyrics […]
