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Archive of posts tagged One to Four

How to make a Musical Funny

Mozart wrote a song called Leck mich im Arsch or ‘Lick me in the asshole’, a minute long song for six male voices―castrati preferred. He also loved ‘farted on‘ jokes. The oldest recorded joke from Sumeria is of this style. Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in […]


Phones are in F. They ring F’s, they drone dial tones in F Major Thirds, and the buttons beep in F Minor. Many other related phone melodies are also in F Major, such as the classic “Disconnected”. This little melody is a Bb Major Seventh, the fourth degree of an F Major scale. Click on […]

Never Jam After Midnight

Once in an eternity, a mogwai comes along with a voice of silver and a heart of gold. Most of his kind are shady Chinese spirits, who suffer midnightly cravings, and a bad case of aquaphilia. They certainly can’t whistle Dixie and play little keyboards in key. Fully acculturated, Gizmo sings a C# Major folk […]

Super Mario Melodies

スーパーマリオブラザーズ You and I, we live in a Netherworld of Noise. That’s why I’m taking you to Happy Tone Town. Everything that used to make noise, now makes a tone. Except blocks―they’re still noisey. But get this: Money sings! You can hear the coins klup into your pockets. And it’s logical too: Jumping makes a […]