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As If It Were So

Thanks to Emerging Indie Bands for featuring “As If It Were So”.

The song title is taken from an old idiom meaning a “thing not exactly as described,” which only makes sense in its original form. College professors like to use the Chaucerian contraction “as it were,” as a fancy way of saying “pun intended.” Today the idiom lives on in the ’90s Valspeak, “As if!”

“As If It Were So” is about the psychotronic superweapon known colloquially as “the music industry,” in all its black magik trappings.

It’s no secret what Lucifer’s job was in Heaven—the guy is practically made entirely of musical instruments! So it’s only logical that when he fell, he took over the industry to stage his eternal teen rebellion here on Earth.

If I may quote the Scripture, Ezekiel 28, Chapter 13:

The workmanship of thy tabrets and of thy pipes was prepared in thee in the day that thou wast created. Thou art the anointed cherub that covereth; and I have set thee so: thou wast upon the holy mountain of God; thou hast walked up and down in the midst of the stones of fire. Thou wast perfect in thy ways from the day that thou wast created, till iniquity was found in thee. By the multitude of thy merchandise they have filled the midst of thee with violence, and thou hast sinned: therefore I will cast thee as profane out of the mountain of God: and I will destroy thee, O covering cherub, from the midst of the stones of fire.

But, like the preacher says, “Why should the Devil have the best tunes?”

As if!

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