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As If It Were So

Thanks to Emerging Indie Bands for featuring “As If It Were So”.


The song title is taken from an old idiom meaning a “thing not exactly as described,” which only makes sense in its original form. College professors like to use the Chaucerian contraction “as it were,” as a fancy way of saying “pun intended.” Today the idiom lives on in the ’90s Valspeak, “As if!”

“As If It Were So” is about the psychotronic superweapon known colloquially as “the music industry,” in all its black magik trappings.

It’s no secret what Lucifer’s job was in Heaven—the guy is practically made entirely of musical instruments! So it’s only logical that when he fell, he took over the industry to stage his eternal teen rebellion here on Earth.

If I may quote the Scripture, Ezekiel 28, Chapter 13:

The workmanship of your timbrels and pipes Was prepared for you on the day you were created. You were the anointed cherub who covers; …. You were perfect in your ways from the day you were created, Till iniquity was found in you. By the abundance of your trading You became filled with violence within, And you sinned; Therefore I cast you as a profane thing Out of the mountain of God; And I destroyed you, O covering cherub, From the midst of the fiery stones.

But, like the preacher says, “Why should the Devil have the best tunes?”

As if!

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