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uh Phone

more marimba lolthere is a phone call that makes a kind of native guatemalan greeting everytim it calls you.

you may have heard this thing. i can’t remember what phone it’s for. i’m not good with the brandnames. it seems the phone companies and other multinationals are following the old-time inspiration of classic TV and radio by playing their insidious jingles on an idiophone.

drag over the black stemmed noteheads below, or click the score to hear the entire melody.

the ringtone is a melody in the key of G Major tetratonic (G, B, D, E). the first interval (B, G) is a Major Third, reminiscent of Westminster Quarters, and its influence on doorbells, convenience stores, dialtones, etc. it also treads into relative minor territory, when emphasizing the E Minor, but it resolves back to the G major by the end.

i’d like to say that the above melody sucks, but it’s actually pretty great. although it isn’t much of a complete musical phrase; it exists more for functional reasons than musical ones. take a look at the half-measure of rest at the end of measure 2. like a call without the answer, the ringtone leaves an open rest in between the melody for screening purposes, just like birdsong do. the marimba was probably chosen because it has a strong attack, sounds like a tonal drum (similar to retro-game timbres), and will cut through most any soundscape with its extreme woodeness.

epi:

yeah, it ain’t such a bad ringtone or a melody, in of itself, but what’s bad is the creeping transhumanist agenda that such a sprightly little wooden melody heralds; and the people, they a-ok with this marimba shit. i guess this commercial was supposed to be ironic or something.

here’s to the crazy guatemalians.

♫ Bonus MIDI for jamming and singing along at home ♫